Maenad Religious Views

We of the Maenads first off believe, as do all Jihaddi groups, that B'Harne is pure, unadulterated evil. The being know as B'Harne is in fact the Devourer Wyrm, an evil entity conjured by Lyrans (alien sorcerors that are extradimensional in nature) for the express destruction of Earth and the spongification of its inhabitants for the purpose of allowing takeover of the planet. They have tried before and failed, they try again now, and they will try a third time which shall lead to the final Banishment to the tenth level of Hell.

Our theology is a bit different than most Jihaddi groups; whereas most groups are monotheistic or have one anti-B'Harne of sorts, we believe in a triad of beings (known as the Holy Triad) that oppose the evil known as B'Harne, and actively help those opposing the Hellwyrm of Lyra in various ways. The Triad are:

Gaia (also known as Mother Earth, Mother Nature, the Ruler of the First Banishing)--She is the Earth Mother, who protects her children and gives them shelter. Her revelant (the one who reveals) is Luna, the Moon; her champions are the Garou and other lycanthropes.
Grimace (also known as Lord of the Fries, the Provider, the Ruler of the Second Banishing)--He is the Provider of UnHellthy Snacks (tm), the feeder of the warriors and the means to keep them pure. His revelant is Ronald McDonald; his champion is the White Lady.
The Holy Albino (also known as the Holy Wyld-Chyld, the Lord of Warpspasm, Lord Feral, Ruler of the Third Banishing)--He is the Ruler of the Warpspasm, the one who shows the way of fierceness in battle, the Leader of the Wyld Hunt. His revelant is Tharg the Mighty; he is his own champion, as it will be him who deals the final deathblow to the Lyrans.

It is not known exactly how the Three came about; some say they were created by the Wyld in opposition to the Wyrm, others say the Endless Ones created them from the Dreaming to fight against the stealer of dreams, yet others say they sprang whole out of Khaos to fight the mind-numbing order of the Hellwyrm. Maybe it was all three, or none; we do not know. All we know is that the Three have revealed themselves to us and ordered us to fight the Hellwyrm.

As to the conjurations: As stated before, there will be three. The First was in the Dark Ages, and the Garou finally banished it; the Croatoan all died in the final act of banishing, and the White Howlers were perverted into the twisted, spongified beings known as the Black Spiral Dancers, however. Right now we are in the Second; it is foretold that the Army of the White Lady shall rise against the Hellwyrm and that the White Lady, after visiting and departing for a short while, shall return and banish the Hellwyrm again. (Clearly it is known now that the Army of the White Lady is the Jihad, and the White Lady is the Mahdi (pbuh).) There wil be in the future a Third Rising, at which time the Lyrans will open a portal to their hellworld and raise the Hellwyrm again, sending those opposing as sacrifices; it is said the Holy Albino will manifest himself in earthly form and be sent there along with Saint Johnny; the latter will be martyred and the people set free. The Holy Albino will return a few years later to Lyra and defeat the conjurors finally, breaking the cycle.

The revelations are in our sacred scrolls The Scroll of Gaia, The Scroll of the Provider, and The Scroll of the Holy Albino; they were revealed to us on December 24th, 1988 in a vision of the Holy Albino himself. Later the Three came to us and revealed our holy mission; we officially joined the Jihad in January of 1994. (See Appendix A)

Our major rites are the Rite of Gaia (which involves dancing, singing to Gaia, and seeking of visions) which is held every solstice and equinox; the Rite of the Provider (which is similar to the Church of Blarney's Critical Mass), held at the same time as Critical Mass, and the Rite of the Wyld Hunt (dancing, playing of very loud heavy metal, imbibing of Jolt, then stripping naked except for battle-claws and shredding of thirteen sponge-minions in a hunt), which is held on First Relevation (December 24), Night of the Warp (April 1), Night of the Blood Moon (first full moon after the summer solstice), and Samhain (October 31st).

APPENDIX A:

Maenad religious calendar:

The Maenad calendar counts from the date of the first revelation of the Holy Albino to the Triad Council at Milton Keynes; for example, 19th September 1994 would be in the Maenad religious claendar 26th Fallseve in the sixth year since the First Revelation. The calendar months are as follows:

Revelation (December 24-January 24)
Wolfmoon (January 25-February 21)
Springeve (February 22-March 24)
Warpmoon (March 25-April 23)
Gaiasrising (April 24-May 24)
Huntingmoon (May 25-June 23)
Dogsdays (June 24-July 24)
Keening (July 25-August 24)
Fallseve (August 25-September 23)
Beastmoon (September 24-October 23)
Howling (October 24-November 23)
Showingeve (November 24-December 23)

by Windigo the Feral(NYAR!)
excerpt from the Jihad Religious FAQ by St. Kressja the Undeceived

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